An infant's gaze

Newborns look intently into our eyes. In fact, their brains are pre-programmed to be especially attracted to the human face. Their best focus is probably an arm’s length, their arm, about 6-8 inches. So, if we hold them very close and look into their innocent eyes, we might be able to see the whole universe.

I feel awed and mystified by this gaze, every time I hold a baby. I know this is not something that is felt by everyone. But, if I could do one magic thing in this world, it would be to cast a spell on all those who don’t. When they looked into an infant’s eyes, they would realize there is depth and creativity waiting to unfold there. Then they might better understand how precious and how fragile life is, and just maybe, they’d be sure to make choices that mattered for the present and the future of these little ones.

All children would be guaranteed healthy food to help their bodies and their brains grow. They’d have clean air and water. They would have opportunities for learning. We would not send any of our children to war, because we would be able to work out our differences with our fellows. We would protect children from the violence in their streets and on their video screens. We would answer their questions, as best we could.

Life is not easy. There are challenging times as children grow - teething, potty training, tantrums, going off to school, many frustrations, the angst of the teen years, pushing us away as they strive for independence. But if we remembered their infant gaze, maybe we would consider their uniqueness as we guided their lives.

And when an adult says or does something disagreeable or difficult that challenges our world view, maybe we would also remember that each person was once an infant with hidden potential. We all start out small and innocent, then life happens to us along the way. Through it all, we end up right here. I just suspect that “right here” might be a very different place if we adults always made choices that considered what would be best for this child, and the next child, and on into the future.

Maybe my hopes are unrealistic. I certainly have had many times when I got too wrapped up in the immediacy of the moment and lost sight of the possibilities. Still do. But, remembering that infant gaze some of the time would make a difference.

Everyone starts out as an infant with a deep, penetrating, infinite gaze, with potential, looking out on the world with hope, trusting that caring adults will reach out and hold an outstretched hand.