What do I do when I am feeling frustrated and overwhelmed? I often hunker down and spend solo time. This can be very helpful. We all need a little time to ourselves to figure things out. But, I also know that I can get into trouble, too, when that alone time becomes isolation. I feel like no one would understand. No one will be able to help me with this issue. My feelings are talking to me in these moments, taking control of my thinking. Experience has told me again and again that talking about the issue with someone helps. In fact, I rarely want or need advice. When a loving witness listens to my concerns, the answer usually begins to emerge as I talk.
Our children need a chance to talk, too. We are so quick to come back with possible solutions. We want to fix it, kiss it and make it all better. Instead of jumping in with suggestions, maybe we can ask a question. "That sounds really frustrating and hard. What would really help you right now?" or "What would help you to be able to figure out how to deal with this?"
Over and over (because I am so stubborn and so easily forget) I am reminded that we are not meant to struggle through this life alone. We are meant to work together. Love and support send the isolation packing. Now with the bright light of understanding that comes when someone listens, we often realize that the solution was there all along. Let's see if we can model this, and teach our kids now, so they will be better prepared for the challenges they will surely face in the future.
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