My car was recently broken into at work. And I didn't collapse. My world didn't fall apart. It was unsettling. I'm sure the hopeful vandal was disappointed when it was discovered that the bags only had some books, but for me, there were some class notes that were very precious. The broken window was a nuisance, but it was easily repaired the next day. This has never happened to me before. Yes, I have experienced some other unfortunate mishaps. Sometimes I have handled them with calm and sometimes they have been "the last straw" which took me over the edge with stress and frustration.
Have you heard the saying - "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." This is a universal truth. We parents have a great deal of influence in the family. Our children are looking to us for guidance. We are setting an example in everything we do. So, it is more helpful for everyone when the opposite is true - "When Mama's happy, everyone is content." Finding peace in the midst of our crazy days can be very difficult. It helps to remember -
The kids aren't out to get me.
I really am in control of my life.
I can set realistic goals for how much can be accomplished in an hour, a day.
Each day really is a blessing.
I know. This is easier said then done. Where is Zen Mama when you need her? You know, she's the mother who seems to be able to move into a meditative state during hard times and breathe her way through it. She lets her trust in the infinite goodness of life guide her responses to her children and other things which call for her attention, “Right now!”
In a conversation with our 20 year old son, I was concerned about a deadline he had and his apparent lack of attention to the seriousness of this. I said, "I would like to be Zen Mama, and breathe my way through this, and let go, and not worry. But, you and I both know that's not bloody likely." He was chuckling by now, knowing full well from his experience with me, the implausible nature of this image. I continued, "I don't want to be in the middle of your life. You and I both know that you're the one who needs to figure this all out. It's your responsibility." Yeah, mom. But, I still couldn't resist putting in a codependent plea. "But, help me out here. Deal with this so I can sleep nights." More chuckles from him.
Well, he did it, took care of business, and just in time, too. So, I could relax - for now. But he and I know, my worrying days aren't over. But I do continue to try to be more mindful. To breathe. To ask myself, “What's really important right now?” To appreciate the moments of peace I find in my busy days.
Where is Zen Mama when I need her? Right here if I am willing to let her in.