I talked briefly with a parent who is feeling overwhelmed by the demands of 24 hours - 7 days a week. Parenting is a huge commitment. I don't believe we ever really understand the impact of this until we are right in the middle of it. When do we sleep when we have a child who is wakeful much of the night.
Sleep needs vary... theirs and ours! Some babies sleep through the night from nearly the beginning. Others seems to sleep rarely. We had one of those. He didn't "sleep through the night"- which really means a 5-6 hour stretch of time - until nearly 2, and even then it was rare. Even when he was an older preschooler, he frequently climbed into our bed in the middle of night. He knew which side of the bed to get into. Can you guess? If he climbed in on my side, he would get a few snuggles then I took him back to his own bed. If he got in next to dad, he may last the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep at all with his wiggles. And he grew out of naps by 2. Occasionally he was so tired by dinner time that he would fall asleep in his food. Then we knew we were in trouble, because after a two hour nap, he would be up from about 8pm until midnight.
Sleep deprivation is crazy making. Without enough sleep, it is impossible to function on "all cylinders." We are grumpy. We can't organize our thoughts. We live as if in a constant fog. We were not meant to raise children in isolation. In tribal communities, there are many hands available to tend to children's needs. Even though most of us do not live in these kinds of social groups, the message is still clear: We need support. We need help. We are not supposed to tough it out and raise kids alone. These times will pass, but in the middle of it, the end is not in sight. To survive these times, in addition to support, it can also help to lower our expectations about what we can realistically do in a day. And rest when the kids do!
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