Friday, April 20, 2007

Dealing with advice and following our heart

I asked the parents in the class, “What are you hoping to get from this workshop?” One of the parents said, “I just want to get some information and ideas so I can figure out what’s best for my child and for me.” Well, this is what parenting is all about. Deciding what’s best and doing it. But we often have lots of advice to wade through along the way.

We all want the best for our children. We also know that what works for one child is not guaranteed to work for everyone. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed with all of the advice on - breast feeding, weaning, responding to baby’s cries, holding the baby, sleep concerns, when to go back to work, toileting issues, schooling, and discipline. The list goes on. There are so many well-meaning people who have something to say about everything! How do we respond to them? How do we figure out what is best for our family?

We can acknowledge their support and concern. “Thank you for your interest. We are still gathering information. Then we will decide what will work best for us.” Or “I know you really care about us. We appreciate your concern. We have thought about this and decided that what we are doing is working very well for us.”

Ultimately, we each must decide. No one knows better what’s right for you and your family. There is no such thing as the right way or the perfect solution. Children each have unique needs. So do we all. Once we have gathered information by attending classes, or reading books, or talking to supportive people, we can figure out what’s right.

And we can be guaranteed to get lots of practice. As soon as we think we have figured something out, children grow and needs change. When we follow our heart, with our understanding of this child as our guide, we can figure out what is best.

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