We are not proud of ourselves when we blurt out a harsh over-reaction. There are powerful pressures to do more. We juggle all of our children’s activities - school, lessons, sports, playdates, and more. And we struggle to find time for our needs - family life, work, health, fitness, and fun. How do we fit this all into a day? We don’t. We make choices, and some things don’t get done. We feel overwhelmed and exhausted and unable to cope. When we feel this way, we are more likely to react impatiently with our loved ones. It’s often not about what they just said or did, but that we have no reserves left to respond calmly.
Kids are forgiving. When we acknowledge our mistakes and apologize, children often willingly give us another chance. The courage to apologize is a strength. “I’m sorry” says my relationship with you is more important to me than anything else. I remember an interaction with one of my sons. After yelling about something, I apologized. My sweet, young son said something like, “That’s okay, mom. I love you no matter what. Everyone makes mistakes.” Hmmm.... where had he heard that before?
Kids usually forgive pretty easily. But we don’t, especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Sometimes I think I will always have leftover guilt about some of the things I said and did when my kids were little. I apologized. They forgave. Though I am usually able to let go and move on, when I am stressed or upset, “coulda, woulda, shoulda” guilty messages still play in my head.
Thankfully, kids welcome our apologies. We can have a "do-over." The very next moment can be a new start. We have another opportunity to say or do the “right” thing. We can take a breath and slow down. What is really important right now? We can change our mind and make a different choice. We can make time for fun and relaxation. As we strive to live a more balanced life, we are better able to respond to our family members, our friends, and to ourselves with patience and love.
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