Two kids are hassling over something, a toy, the T.V. remote, whose turn it is to sit in the front seat. Some adults are pretty convinced that we need to back off and let kids work it out.
This is not always the best response. First, we need to watch them. Are they talking it out? Are their interactions mostly open and cooperative? If so, yes, we can continue to watch and hopefully they will figure it out without us. Sometimes just our presence nearby helps them gauge their own behavior and reminds them to do what's best.
But, if their words are getting mean, we need to step in. The old saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me" is far from true. In fact, hurtful words often leave very deep emotional scars. So when their words are escalating to yelling, we need to step in and help them continue their negotiations without name calling.
And as we continue to observe them, if we feel one of them may be getting close to physically retaliating, we must step in. It is not okay for children to think that they can resolve conflicts with physical force. Hitting is not helpful.
Children can experience abuse from adults or from other children. School aged children become especially quick to tease each other. This kind of harassment can be very hurtful to children and have long-lasting effects. Children want to know that we are here to protect them and to help them resolve their conflicts reasonably and fairly.
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