Where were we?

Whenever something shocking like the recent campus killings occurs, I want to ask, "Where were we?"

Though we didn't know this young man, there's a good chance we have known someone like him - hurting, helpless, isolated. Our society seems to discourage connections. We are less likely to know our neighbors. We are more likely to spend time indoors in front of computers and televisions. We are more likely to think things are someone else's problem. We have adopted our own versions of fierce independence and have a hard time asking for help. We are also afraid of people who are different from us and tend to wall ourselves off from them.

How does this relate to our topic - talking about kids? Well, every child is our responsibility. I heard about a man who moved his family from a comfortable suburban community to the inner city. He wanted his children to have a chance to break down social and cultural barriers and see that we are all really far more similar than different. Then, his son was killed in a senseless driveby shooting. When asked if he had regrets, he said he did not regret moving his family. But he did wish he had done more to become a part of their new community and spent more time with the neighbor kids.

We need to be approachable adults to the children in our lives - our own kids, neighbor kids, relatives. Children need adults in their lives who they can turn to share their pleasures and their pain. They need adults who will listen. They need adults who will love them - no matter what. They need acceptance.

I'm not saying that I could have done anything to help this young man in Virginia. But I do believe we can be involved with children today in positive ways which just may be able to prevent future catastrophes. It's such a shame to see any life wasted. We all have a responsibility to build more understanding communities.