In need of distraction

We can imagine any number of activities or behaviors that get children in trouble with us. They are getting into something that is not theirs. They are tempting the fates and doing something potentially dangerous. They are avoiding our attempt to remind them of the rules and doing the unacceptable anyway. It feels like they are ignoring us.

An effective discipline response that gets too little credit is distraction. Children are very focused on whatever activity or behavior they are doing in the present moment. They are not doing this to get in trouble with us. Children are curious explorers. For example, young children see us using our phones all the time. They don’t understand why it is off limits to them. We need to explain simply and then distract their interest by giving a substitute toy or suggesting an activity which will redirect his attention.

Our active redirection is more likely to successfully stop the inappropriate behavior. It is not enough to just say “No!” It certainly doesn’t help to say “No!!” again, and louder. It is better to offer the child something else, something that is acceptable.

“That’s dangerous. Come over here and do this instead.”
or
“We can’t do that right now. We can do this.”

Children need a little help from us to learn what we expect. They are in need of some distraction to refocus their curiosity toward safe, acceptable activities.